I’m just crazy, drunk, or I don’t really know. I just know that that can’t be her.
“Brain? You still there?”
“Yeah….uh who are you?” There’s a long pause. All I can hear is her breathing. “It’s me. Lee. Don’t you remember me?” She sounds hurt. I nod, even though she can’t see me.
“I just called because I’m in town and I thought we could hang out. For old times sake? But if you don’t….”
“No, no it’s not that. You just caught me off guard is all. When do ya what to hang out?” The air rushes into my lungs painfully as I await her answer. She pauses for some great length of time. Then finally speaks.
“Uh…how’s tonight? Say about four-fivish. Does that work for you?”
Another pause in which I panic, trying to figure out when I could call Bella. “….Um…sure? That works.” I say trying to sound a little happy to hear from her. But it’s really hard to when I’m not. She says bye and hangs up. I sigh in relief.
I broke up with her about a year or so back. We dated on and off for some time, but it was nothing too significant. Or at less I didn’t think so. I haven’t thought about her this whole time, not even when I was drunk. Pushed her completely from my memories. But I guess she didn’t do the same. Great. Dinner with my ex I thought I’d gotten rid of.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
chapter nine
My eyes are about to pop out of my head. She, this kid who can read minds, might know who Sky is. But I can’t talk. My mouth is glued shut. I need to ask. Who is Sky?!
Bella wiggles awkwardly on the edge of my knee. Her face is twisted with mixed emotions. That’s when my heart drops. And something hits me in the face, hard.
“You can’t be serious? You’re just a kid, right?” She lifts her liquid green eyes to me. Those eyes could murder. Sighing, she begins to explain herself:
“O-okay…See I may look like a kid, but I’m not. I’m well, a vampire?…. And…uh…. I have been since like…..oh gosh…when was it? Ah! Since King George the second sent people over here…..I was about twelve maybe thirteen when my family and I came here the new world…..my mother died on the boat…..from…what was it? Well, anyway and then my father died fighting for the crown….so then it was just me and my older brother…um he was twenty? Yeah….so we lived together till it was time to marry me off…..that’s when I met him….the vampire I mean….my brother unknowingly married me to him and one night he…well, bit me…..and then like iono…some odd years later, I ended up with a ticket to one of your concerts…..it was pretty cool….hm…I think that covers everything…?”
She gazes at me with that killer stare of hers. “I- I see. Guess that makes sense……” Can’t think. The girl I’ve been searching for is sitting on my lap and she looks like a doll. On top of that, she’s a vampire! Letting this sink in, I stand up siding her off of me and pace the room.
“You’re freaked out by all this.” Her voice is better than I’d dreamt it. I want her to talk more, but it’s all too confusing for me to just accept. At this point, all I can really do is stare at her. I probably look like the biggest dumbass she’s ever seen.
“Are you going to be okay? Should I go or get Twi…”
“N-no. I’m fine. I just needed a minuet…..” She stands up and eyes me. True concern in her eyes. They’re tracing every inch of me, just as I did when I saw her on the TV. This only makes it harder to concentrate on collecting my thoughts. Really hard.
“O-okay. I think I get this. All of this. So then…uh.., Sky?” That’s were I stop, I just let out my secrete nickname for her. Embarrassing much? She nods as if not caring or not noticing my slip up. “Uh…..it’s nice to…..well to finally meet you…..” What the hell was that? ‘Nice to finally meet you?!’ Lame! But it’s all I can say. I mean, what do I say. Hey, I’ve been dreaming of you since I saw you at one of my concerts like ten years ago?! That’ll help me win her over.
I slump into her chair at the vanity. That’s when, like on cue, Jeordio and the dog walk back in. Jeordio grabs her and places her on his lap, a smug look cased in my direction. I mumble under my breath as I get up to leave. Not wanting to see either of them sucking her face off.
Bella pulls away from Jeordio and rushes to me. “Wait. Here. It’s my cell number. Call me any time.” She grips my left hand, scribbling on it in black Crayola maker. I smile, blushing so deeply I don’t think I’ll ever have to worry bout looking pale again.
Sitting in my apartment, again, I plan to call her. But not right away. I don’t want to sound needy or eager. So I decide on four. She shouldn’t be to busy by then.
I look around for something to distract me while I wait. That’s when I see the other cards laying on my floor by the TV, just were I left them earlier. I get up, walk over to them, and scoop them up. Each face grinning up at me. I only have Chris, Geff, Ax, and me. Jeordio must have taken his with him this morning. I sigh and place them by my phone and wonder into the living room were my paints lay tossed around.
I pull out a large sheet of paper and grab my paints. At first I have no idea what I want to paint, just that I want to paint something to keep me busy. But after awhile, it starts to look like Bella. It’s pretty good. Her shape, the colors, everything is just perfect. I watch me hand move smoothly over the paper, each color forming a new line of her.
That’s when the phone chirps. I jump, my brush flying of in to the left of me. I scramble to my feet and pick up the phone. “H-hello?”
“Hi, Brain.” I froze. My breath caught in my throat. The voice on the other line couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be.
Bella wiggles awkwardly on the edge of my knee. Her face is twisted with mixed emotions. That’s when my heart drops. And something hits me in the face, hard.
“You can’t be serious? You’re just a kid, right?” She lifts her liquid green eyes to me. Those eyes could murder. Sighing, she begins to explain herself:
“O-okay…See I may look like a kid, but I’m not. I’m well, a vampire?…. And…uh…. I have been since like…..oh gosh…when was it? Ah! Since King George the second sent people over here…..I was about twelve maybe thirteen when my family and I came here the new world…..my mother died on the boat…..from…what was it? Well, anyway and then my father died fighting for the crown….so then it was just me and my older brother…um he was twenty? Yeah….so we lived together till it was time to marry me off…..that’s when I met him….the vampire I mean….my brother unknowingly married me to him and one night he…well, bit me…..and then like iono…some odd years later, I ended up with a ticket to one of your concerts…..it was pretty cool….hm…I think that covers everything…?”
She gazes at me with that killer stare of hers. “I- I see. Guess that makes sense……” Can’t think. The girl I’ve been searching for is sitting on my lap and she looks like a doll. On top of that, she’s a vampire! Letting this sink in, I stand up siding her off of me and pace the room.
“You’re freaked out by all this.” Her voice is better than I’d dreamt it. I want her to talk more, but it’s all too confusing for me to just accept. At this point, all I can really do is stare at her. I probably look like the biggest dumbass she’s ever seen.
“Are you going to be okay? Should I go or get Twi…”
“N-no. I’m fine. I just needed a minuet…..” She stands up and eyes me. True concern in her eyes. They’re tracing every inch of me, just as I did when I saw her on the TV. This only makes it harder to concentrate on collecting my thoughts. Really hard.
“O-okay. I think I get this. All of this. So then…uh.., Sky?” That’s were I stop, I just let out my secrete nickname for her. Embarrassing much? She nods as if not caring or not noticing my slip up. “Uh…..it’s nice to…..well to finally meet you…..” What the hell was that? ‘Nice to finally meet you?!’ Lame! But it’s all I can say. I mean, what do I say. Hey, I’ve been dreaming of you since I saw you at one of my concerts like ten years ago?! That’ll help me win her over.
I slump into her chair at the vanity. That’s when, like on cue, Jeordio and the dog walk back in. Jeordio grabs her and places her on his lap, a smug look cased in my direction. I mumble under my breath as I get up to leave. Not wanting to see either of them sucking her face off.
Bella pulls away from Jeordio and rushes to me. “Wait. Here. It’s my cell number. Call me any time.” She grips my left hand, scribbling on it in black Crayola maker. I smile, blushing so deeply I don’t think I’ll ever have to worry bout looking pale again.
Sitting in my apartment, again, I plan to call her. But not right away. I don’t want to sound needy or eager. So I decide on four. She shouldn’t be to busy by then.
I look around for something to distract me while I wait. That’s when I see the other cards laying on my floor by the TV, just were I left them earlier. I get up, walk over to them, and scoop them up. Each face grinning up at me. I only have Chris, Geff, Ax, and me. Jeordio must have taken his with him this morning. I sigh and place them by my phone and wonder into the living room were my paints lay tossed around.
I pull out a large sheet of paper and grab my paints. At first I have no idea what I want to paint, just that I want to paint something to keep me busy. But after awhile, it starts to look like Bella. It’s pretty good. Her shape, the colors, everything is just perfect. I watch me hand move smoothly over the paper, each color forming a new line of her.
That’s when the phone chirps. I jump, my brush flying of in to the left of me. I scramble to my feet and pick up the phone. “H-hello?”
“Hi, Brain.” I froze. My breath caught in my throat. The voice on the other line couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be.
chapter eight
Right next to her. He’s standing right next to her.
“Jeordio!!?? What the hell are you doing here?!” My voice comes out high pitched and funny. He spins around to face me. He blinks and then smiles.
I’m frozen to this spot. Jeordio, my best friend beat me to her. Not only that, but as I watch them like an idiot, they walk into her dressing room. I can feel my eyes growing wider. This is not happening.
Jeordio steps back out the door and waves at me. I can’t move. Or more like I won’t move.
That’s when he walks completely out of the room and over to me. He stands in front of me for a minuet. “Com’n? She’s waiting.”
“You? Her? But, how?!” I sputter. It’s all I can do at this point. I’m just too stunned by the fact that he made it here before me! How could this have happened?
He grabs my arm, laughing and drags me over to the door way. The soles of my shoes squeak loudly. This isn’t going as I planned only hours before.
I didn’t know what I’d expected to see when I got inside her dressing room, but I know I hadn’t thought of this. The room’s small for one. The walls, gray concrete with bits of paper stuck to it. A table spilling over with make-up and a notebook, a closet with a bag wedged in between the door and its frame, and a couch with her and some other guy on it making out.
That sight keeps me glued to the ground. Jeordio leaves me to join her on the couch. That’s when she looks up and turns to him and begins to make out with him. Now I can see who was next to her. I have to laugh. It’s funny really.
Trace LeRead. Really. Should of seen that comin. Jeordio breaks free from her to stare at me. I blink. “Y-yes?” my voice sounds high and shrill. He smiles and pats the space next to him. I try to swallow. Why the hell am I freaking out here? Why now? And why me?
I find my legs and mange to make them move foreword. I don’t sit down right away. But once I do, she turns her now very wide eyes on me. I try not to stare back, but those eyes make it very hard. Light spring green, that glitters even when the light is not hitting them.
My eyes start to scan the rest of her face. Soft and almost too childish. All the same, extremely hot. Her lips part just so that it makes me quickly cross my legs.
“You…your Dimond Death!” she squeaks. Jeordio laughs. “Told ya he’d be comin’. Ha!” he slaps me on the back. “Uh…Y-yeah. That’s me.” I mumble as I attempt to cover up.
She crawls across Jeordio and onto my lap. Then winds her arms around my neck. Once again, her lips work magic and I’m helpless to stop it. “Wow! I’ve always wanted to meet you! This is so cool!!” she smiles wide, then slowly leans in.
Those lips can cause magic in more way than one. I learn this the hard way as she presses her open mouth angst mine. Gwad. Why did I choose today to wear new, thigh jeans?
Jeordio lays back next to us, looking very content with himself. I waited for her to pull away, laughing like she was teasing me or something. But she didn’t.
My hand twitches. Slowly it finds her waist, pulling her in close. I press my lips harder. I’ve wanted this for so long.
“Stupid! This isn’t Sky! She’s some kid!”
My eyes snap open. That’s right. I’m kissing a kid, who only looks like Sky. I push her back. I can feel my face turning red. And the look on her face doesn’t help me. She looks hurt. Upset, like she might cry.
“Uh…I- it’s nothing personal…it’s just…you’re well, a kid…kinda…”
She cocks her head, appearing more doll-like than before. “Hm? Do you really think that girl would still look the same after so many years?” I grip her thigh, causing it to turn red and my knuckles pale white. “What? What did you say?”
She turns to Jeordio, completely ignoring me. Sk-Belladonna only stares at him and he gets up and leaves, as does the wolf-boy. She turns back to me once the door slams shut. “I can…um…read minds, when I want to. I was reading yours when we were kissing.” She spoke in a low voice.
“Why’d you want till we were kissing? I could…” My face turns red as I try to pick the right words.
“Well you might of thought I was crazy if I just sat and stared at you.” Her turn to blush. I nod in agreement. That might have been a little weird. We sit in suffocating silence. Neither of us moves.
“Um… I think I know who she is……”
“Jeordio!!?? What the hell are you doing here?!” My voice comes out high pitched and funny. He spins around to face me. He blinks and then smiles.
I’m frozen to this spot. Jeordio, my best friend beat me to her. Not only that, but as I watch them like an idiot, they walk into her dressing room. I can feel my eyes growing wider. This is not happening.
Jeordio steps back out the door and waves at me. I can’t move. Or more like I won’t move.
That’s when he walks completely out of the room and over to me. He stands in front of me for a minuet. “Com’n? She’s waiting.”
“You? Her? But, how?!” I sputter. It’s all I can do at this point. I’m just too stunned by the fact that he made it here before me! How could this have happened?
He grabs my arm, laughing and drags me over to the door way. The soles of my shoes squeak loudly. This isn’t going as I planned only hours before.
I didn’t know what I’d expected to see when I got inside her dressing room, but I know I hadn’t thought of this. The room’s small for one. The walls, gray concrete with bits of paper stuck to it. A table spilling over with make-up and a notebook, a closet with a bag wedged in between the door and its frame, and a couch with her and some other guy on it making out.
That sight keeps me glued to the ground. Jeordio leaves me to join her on the couch. That’s when she looks up and turns to him and begins to make out with him. Now I can see who was next to her. I have to laugh. It’s funny really.
Trace LeRead. Really. Should of seen that comin. Jeordio breaks free from her to stare at me. I blink. “Y-yes?” my voice sounds high and shrill. He smiles and pats the space next to him. I try to swallow. Why the hell am I freaking out here? Why now? And why me?
I find my legs and mange to make them move foreword. I don’t sit down right away. But once I do, she turns her now very wide eyes on me. I try not to stare back, but those eyes make it very hard. Light spring green, that glitters even when the light is not hitting them.
My eyes start to scan the rest of her face. Soft and almost too childish. All the same, extremely hot. Her lips part just so that it makes me quickly cross my legs.
“You…your Dimond Death!” she squeaks. Jeordio laughs. “Told ya he’d be comin’. Ha!” he slaps me on the back. “Uh…Y-yeah. That’s me.” I mumble as I attempt to cover up.
She crawls across Jeordio and onto my lap. Then winds her arms around my neck. Once again, her lips work magic and I’m helpless to stop it. “Wow! I’ve always wanted to meet you! This is so cool!!” she smiles wide, then slowly leans in.
Those lips can cause magic in more way than one. I learn this the hard way as she presses her open mouth angst mine. Gwad. Why did I choose today to wear new, thigh jeans?
Jeordio lays back next to us, looking very content with himself. I waited for her to pull away, laughing like she was teasing me or something. But she didn’t.
My hand twitches. Slowly it finds her waist, pulling her in close. I press my lips harder. I’ve wanted this for so long.
“Stupid! This isn’t Sky! She’s some kid!”
My eyes snap open. That’s right. I’m kissing a kid, who only looks like Sky. I push her back. I can feel my face turning red. And the look on her face doesn’t help me. She looks hurt. Upset, like she might cry.
“Uh…I- it’s nothing personal…it’s just…you’re well, a kid…kinda…”
She cocks her head, appearing more doll-like than before. “Hm? Do you really think that girl would still look the same after so many years?” I grip her thigh, causing it to turn red and my knuckles pale white. “What? What did you say?”
She turns to Jeordio, completely ignoring me. Sk-Belladonna only stares at him and he gets up and leaves, as does the wolf-boy. She turns back to me once the door slams shut. “I can…um…read minds, when I want to. I was reading yours when we were kissing.” She spoke in a low voice.
“Why’d you want till we were kissing? I could…” My face turns red as I try to pick the right words.
“Well you might of thought I was crazy if I just sat and stared at you.” Her turn to blush. I nod in agreement. That might have been a little weird. We sit in suffocating silence. Neither of us moves.
“Um… I think I know who she is……”
chapter seven
How long have we been standing here like this? Is that clock right? Has it really only been a second? It feels like forever.
Finally, something snaps us back to life. I gasp for air. I hadn’t been breathing. My head rolls to Jeordio. He’s looking back at me. We let more time pass between us before either of says a word.
“That girl.” Jeordio pauses, thinking of what to say next. To much has happened in a matter of seconds. “She’s the same one who sent this.” He holds up the card. All I can do is stare at his face. I bet I look really stupid here. That or really drunk.
“And there was a letter to, wasn’t there? Let me see it. When did it get here?” He’s holding out his hand for me to put them in, but I don’t move. The letter was written to me. It said to give them their cards, not that they had to read the letter too. I don’t want him to read it. I want to keep it to myself. But just moments ago I was diving for the phone to call him about this very letter. Why am I being such a spoiled little child now? Hell, I don’t even know for sure that this letter is by her and even so she can’t possibly be Sky. Sky would have to be as old as me by now. Maybe a little younger.
I let all this roll round and round in my mind as Jeordio stands there, hand out demanding the letter from me. I look down at his hand then at my hand. It has the letter in it. I can’t lie and say we didn’t get one. He can clearly see it. I still don’t make any move to give it to him.
His eyes are wide with curiosity. He’ll grab the letter out of my hand if he has to. Somehow, he’ll read it. This makes me really worried. But I don’t know why. It’s just a stupid letter.
“Brain?” low and quiet, but I can here the ice in there. He can’t hid it, just like I can’t hid this letter. “Can I see the letter? Com’n. Let me see it.” His eyes are hard and so pure black that they’ve become more like two empty slits in his pale face.
I swallow, hard. “No.”
He blinks.
So do I.
“What did you say?” The ice is even stronger in his voice now.
“I said, no. I don’t want you to see the letter. It’s addressed to me. Not you or any of the others.”
I can’t look up. Jeordio’s my best friend. I’ve never kept anything from him. He moves awkwardly from one foot to the other. He clearly doesn’t like me keeping secrets. I don’t either but it’s not like I’m trying really hard to tell him. It’s just that I won’t. Adults can be self-centered and childish too. And right now, that’s just what I’m doing.
Stepping out into the bright sun-lit world outside of my apartment, I look for my car. It’s the same one I had when I got home last night. It was all just a dream I had. A better dream than most of my day-dreams about Sky.
I still have the letter wrapped in sweat from my palm. Striding over to my car I hear a voice call out my name, “Dimond? Dimond Death?!” I whip around on my heals to face the person who yelled to me.
My eyes feel as thou they might pop right out of their sockets as they grow. I’m staring at her. Belladonna. The girl I was about to go look for. The girl who I just saw on TV. The girl who wrote me this letter that’s melting in the sweat that’s pouring from my hand.
But then I blink.
And she’s gone again.
I climb slowly into my car, wondering who called me if anyone. The engine spits and groans to life. With one finale groan, it pulls away from the curb and speeds down the street on it’s way to find her. On it’s way to find my Sky.
My heart skips a beat at that though. Sky. She’s who I’ve been looking for. The only person I want. The only thing in this world I want. This makes me push the gas petal even harder. I don’t care if I get pulled over. It only takes a few minuets to write out a ticket anyway. So I’ll risk it.
It doesn’t take long for me to get to the studio that she’s in. I’ve been there before. It’s just the matter of getting inside that I haven’t figured out or let alone even thought of till this insist.
I stood there trying to think of what my next move would be. That’s when I see the back door to the studio is propped open just enough for me to sneak in and back out. I smile a crooked smile. I stand straight and head for the door as if this is what I’m suppose to do.
Back stage is just like the last time I was here. That makes it easier to find the dressing rooms. It’s just picking the right one.
I walk down the hall, remembering how Jeordio and the others and I wrecked this place. That was a long time ago and right now I had to focus on where I was going.
“Yes?... What?.... No!... Ha! Ha!” That voice! I whip around to stare at her standing there with someone right next to her.
Finally, something snaps us back to life. I gasp for air. I hadn’t been breathing. My head rolls to Jeordio. He’s looking back at me. We let more time pass between us before either of says a word.
“That girl.” Jeordio pauses, thinking of what to say next. To much has happened in a matter of seconds. “She’s the same one who sent this.” He holds up the card. All I can do is stare at his face. I bet I look really stupid here. That or really drunk.
“And there was a letter to, wasn’t there? Let me see it. When did it get here?” He’s holding out his hand for me to put them in, but I don’t move. The letter was written to me. It said to give them their cards, not that they had to read the letter too. I don’t want him to read it. I want to keep it to myself. But just moments ago I was diving for the phone to call him about this very letter. Why am I being such a spoiled little child now? Hell, I don’t even know for sure that this letter is by her and even so she can’t possibly be Sky. Sky would have to be as old as me by now. Maybe a little younger.
I let all this roll round and round in my mind as Jeordio stands there, hand out demanding the letter from me. I look down at his hand then at my hand. It has the letter in it. I can’t lie and say we didn’t get one. He can clearly see it. I still don’t make any move to give it to him.
His eyes are wide with curiosity. He’ll grab the letter out of my hand if he has to. Somehow, he’ll read it. This makes me really worried. But I don’t know why. It’s just a stupid letter.
“Brain?” low and quiet, but I can here the ice in there. He can’t hid it, just like I can’t hid this letter. “Can I see the letter? Com’n. Let me see it.” His eyes are hard and so pure black that they’ve become more like two empty slits in his pale face.
I swallow, hard. “No.”
He blinks.
So do I.
“What did you say?” The ice is even stronger in his voice now.
“I said, no. I don’t want you to see the letter. It’s addressed to me. Not you or any of the others.”
I can’t look up. Jeordio’s my best friend. I’ve never kept anything from him. He moves awkwardly from one foot to the other. He clearly doesn’t like me keeping secrets. I don’t either but it’s not like I’m trying really hard to tell him. It’s just that I won’t. Adults can be self-centered and childish too. And right now, that’s just what I’m doing.
Stepping out into the bright sun-lit world outside of my apartment, I look for my car. It’s the same one I had when I got home last night. It was all just a dream I had. A better dream than most of my day-dreams about Sky.
I still have the letter wrapped in sweat from my palm. Striding over to my car I hear a voice call out my name, “Dimond? Dimond Death?!” I whip around on my heals to face the person who yelled to me.
My eyes feel as thou they might pop right out of their sockets as they grow. I’m staring at her. Belladonna. The girl I was about to go look for. The girl who I just saw on TV. The girl who wrote me this letter that’s melting in the sweat that’s pouring from my hand.
But then I blink.
And she’s gone again.
I climb slowly into my car, wondering who called me if anyone. The engine spits and groans to life. With one finale groan, it pulls away from the curb and speeds down the street on it’s way to find her. On it’s way to find my Sky.
My heart skips a beat at that though. Sky. She’s who I’ve been looking for. The only person I want. The only thing in this world I want. This makes me push the gas petal even harder. I don’t care if I get pulled over. It only takes a few minuets to write out a ticket anyway. So I’ll risk it.
It doesn’t take long for me to get to the studio that she’s in. I’ve been there before. It’s just the matter of getting inside that I haven’t figured out or let alone even thought of till this insist.
I stood there trying to think of what my next move would be. That’s when I see the back door to the studio is propped open just enough for me to sneak in and back out. I smile a crooked smile. I stand straight and head for the door as if this is what I’m suppose to do.
Back stage is just like the last time I was here. That makes it easier to find the dressing rooms. It’s just picking the right one.
I walk down the hall, remembering how Jeordio and the others and I wrecked this place. That was a long time ago and right now I had to focus on where I was going.
“Yes?... What?.... No!... Ha! Ha!” That voice! I whip around to stare at her standing there with someone right next to her.
chapter six
It’s one of the nice (and sometimes handy) things about being famous. You can easily get in contact with someone who also happens to be famous. Which makes seeing her all the more easy. I turn to look back at Jeordio. He’s thinking the same thing as me. Shit. Double shit. I glare at him, till he blinks and says, “What? Why you looking at me like that?”
He shakes his head. Long jet black hair falls in his even blacker eyes. My eyes trace every one of his facial features. Then they flash to the card on the ground. She hit it right on the nail with Jeordio’s card.
That’s when he too sees the card with his image plastered across it. He bends down so quickly and smoothly, that he’s like a ghost moving past me. That’s one thing I’ve always been jealous of. I can’t move like that. I’m too clumsy.
He examines the card. He looks up at me, back at the card, and walks over to the mirror in my room, and rubs his chine, runs his fingers in his hair. Now he’s chuckling. This is all funny to him. I don’t really know why. Maybe he thinks I did them. But that’s not why he’s laughing. Twiggy spines around to face me. I gulp. For some reason I’m a feared of what he might say to me.
“W-what?” it’s all I can mange at this moment. Jeordio blinks and holds up the card of his face. “Who did this? It’s really cool.” He pauses to scrutinize me with his dark eyes. They seem to sink into his skull as he does this. “You didn’t, did you?”
Now it’s my turn to blink at him. I shack my head. Then I give him the envelope it came in.
He notices the name and quickly looks up at the TV. The girl is still on. She’s not singing anymore. It’s just an interview now.
The lady doing the interview is laughing about something. She smiles and looks into the camera, “We’ll be right back with Belladonna in a few minuets. So don’t go away.” And just like that, she’s disappeared off the TV.
The rooms so quiet and tense I can feel it like some kind of weight on my back. We both want answers to questions the other can’t answer. So, that’s it. We just stand and stare at the TV as it talks about wal-mart or something.
He shakes his head. Long jet black hair falls in his even blacker eyes. My eyes trace every one of his facial features. Then they flash to the card on the ground. She hit it right on the nail with Jeordio’s card.
That’s when he too sees the card with his image plastered across it. He bends down so quickly and smoothly, that he’s like a ghost moving past me. That’s one thing I’ve always been jealous of. I can’t move like that. I’m too clumsy.
He examines the card. He looks up at me, back at the card, and walks over to the mirror in my room, and rubs his chine, runs his fingers in his hair. Now he’s chuckling. This is all funny to him. I don’t really know why. Maybe he thinks I did them. But that’s not why he’s laughing. Twiggy spines around to face me. I gulp. For some reason I’m a feared of what he might say to me.
“W-what?” it’s all I can mange at this moment. Jeordio blinks and holds up the card of his face. “Who did this? It’s really cool.” He pauses to scrutinize me with his dark eyes. They seem to sink into his skull as he does this. “You didn’t, did you?”
Now it’s my turn to blink at him. I shack my head. Then I give him the envelope it came in.
He notices the name and quickly looks up at the TV. The girl is still on. She’s not singing anymore. It’s just an interview now.
The lady doing the interview is laughing about something. She smiles and looks into the camera, “We’ll be right back with Belladonna in a few minuets. So don’t go away.” And just like that, she’s disappeared off the TV.
The rooms so quiet and tense I can feel it like some kind of weight on my back. We both want answers to questions the other can’t answer. So, that’s it. We just stand and stare at the TV as it talks about wal-mart or something.
chapter five
Belladonna Thorn. It has to be a mistake. I heard that completely wrong. The chicks name just sounded like Belladonna. That’s it. Yeah. I’m just drunk and crazy. It all makes sense.
That’s when Jeordio walks in. He stares at me then the TV, that’s still talking about this girl. I look up at it and see that she’s singing now. And as I watch her I get this odd sort of feeling in the pit of my stomach. I swallow hard. Twiggy was not about to see me like this. Not today at lest.
“What the hell are you doing on the floor? Have you gone insane or are you just hung over still? Get up. Lets go.” He’s totally drunk. Probably more drunk than me. Hm? Not possible. Now what’s he going on about now?
“Were we goin? Uh…owww…..” I sit up carefully and completely aware of how hard I must have hit the floor, because my back and everything for the matter, are crying out in agony. I rub my back willing the pain off my face as I try to stand.
Jeordio is looking at me. No. he’s looking past me at the TV. I turn to it now, too.
How could I have not heard it? I’m stupid or going deft. She’s singing. She’s singing some song I’ve never heard of but oddly enough, feel like I’ve heard so many times that I could sing alone. And her voice is perfect. It’s just like the one I imagined for Sky. Only it’s real and way better.
I can feel my knuckles clenching the letter. They get tighter and tighter every minute, no hour, month, year, life-time, that passes us by. Jeordio and I just staring at the TV.
Not only can she sing, but she’s really fucking hot, too. Even if she’s just, what 16, 20? Still. God, what I wouldn’t give to meet her. Sometimes my life doesn’t completely suck shit. Not all the time, at least.
That’s when Jeordio walks in. He stares at me then the TV, that’s still talking about this girl. I look up at it and see that she’s singing now. And as I watch her I get this odd sort of feeling in the pit of my stomach. I swallow hard. Twiggy was not about to see me like this. Not today at lest.
“What the hell are you doing on the floor? Have you gone insane or are you just hung over still? Get up. Lets go.” He’s totally drunk. Probably more drunk than me. Hm? Not possible. Now what’s he going on about now?
“Were we goin? Uh…owww…..” I sit up carefully and completely aware of how hard I must have hit the floor, because my back and everything for the matter, are crying out in agony. I rub my back willing the pain off my face as I try to stand.
Jeordio is looking at me. No. he’s looking past me at the TV. I turn to it now, too.
How could I have not heard it? I’m stupid or going deft. She’s singing. She’s singing some song I’ve never heard of but oddly enough, feel like I’ve heard so many times that I could sing alone. And her voice is perfect. It’s just like the one I imagined for Sky. Only it’s real and way better.
I can feel my knuckles clenching the letter. They get tighter and tighter every minute, no hour, month, year, life-time, that passes us by. Jeordio and I just staring at the TV.
Not only can she sing, but she’s really fucking hot, too. Even if she’s just, what 16, 20? Still. God, what I wouldn’t give to meet her. Sometimes my life doesn’t completely suck shit. Not all the time, at least.
chapter four
Riiiinnnnggg! Riiiinnngggg! My phone is calling me. Screaming at me to get off my lazy ass and answer it. With a heavy sigh that’s just what I do.
“Hello?” I ask rubbing my eye.
“Hey! Were the hell are you?!” Jeordio, with a crazy loud song playing in the background.
“What do you mean? I’m at home, asleep. Or at least I was till you…”
“We have a show to do RIGHT NOW, you know!! Get your skinny ass down here!!... Hey!.. Put that back! Get him out of here!!!!... Just hurry up!!”
Looking around, I find a suitable pair of pants and a shirt with no stains on the front of it. After a quick look in the mirror to see how bad I look, I freeze. The face in the mirror isn’t the one I had when I went to bed last night. It’s still my face; in fact, it’s how I looked when I was about seventeen or so. I stare long and hard into the mirror wondering if I’m just more drunk than I thought I was. Man, that’s really drunk. I step back from the mirror and look at the clothes I’m wearing a little more closely, too. I have on a pare of dark blue, almost black jeans and a tee with a band name on it that I haven’t listened to in years. I also don’t remember the carpet being wine red colored.
I spin around the room taking it all in at once. Then it hits me. I really am too drunk for my own good. Because this room looks like the one I use to have like ten years ago. It was just a cheap little apartment to call home. I lived in it when we were just starting to make it big. God, that’s a little sad that this is what I make my house be when I’m extremely drunk. Trying to relive the glory days? Or some shit like that.
I stumble out on to the sidewalk and into my car. Well, it looks like the car I used to have anyway. As it careens into the traffic, I wonder what show Jeordio could possibly be bitchin’ about. I don’t have even the foggiest idea of were I’m going but the car seems to know the way by heart. Almost like it’s driving me, not me driving the car.
This goes on for about a few miles. I finally come to a halt in front of a giant concert hall. There are teens honking horns and smoking and making out and drinking. The teens must be here to see Dimond Death, my alter ego. Most of their tees have my face splashed across the chest. A couple of them are dressed like me and Jeordio. Some like they just crawled out of their coffins. I think I’ll stay away from those kids. Who knows if they really do bite and if they have all their shots.
I slip very, very carefully on to the pavement. It’s mostly black out here so even if I walk near them they most likely won’t see me at all. I’ll just become a faceless shadow passing by them on my way into the building.
The minute I get inside it becomes very obvious just were I am now. I’m standing in the same exact concert hall that I performed at when I saw her! This is weird. This is really freakin weird! And I’m about to piss myself because this can’t be right at all! No way in hell!
Backstage, I’m still freaking out about this whole thing. It’s like I got a second chance! Wait! I’m not dead?! Am I?!!
Everyone around me seems to be in some kind of daze. Not a one sees me having this little episode. And I have to say that this scares me quit a bit. Do they really not care about me? Gwad!
Once we’ve all dressed and done our make-up, we stand behind the curtain. Nerves getting to me and I think the rest of them to. Cheers and praise came from the other side. Slowly, the curtain rose up into the black, night sky. I swallowed the lump that had stopped me from telling the others that I think I might be to drunk or whatever I am right now to go on stag and do anything but stand there like an idiot. That might not be a bad idea. And that’s when I realize I’m face to face with these insanely huge flood lights. No. Those aren’t flood lights or strange lights. What I’m staring into is just normal, old neo stage lights. You know, almost like the ones you find in the public bathrooms. With that though, I start to hope and pray that I’m not passed out on some random bathroom floor.
I blink like forty million times. Now I can see where I really am. I passed out in bed with the lights on. Sighing, I turn in bed to check the time and date. Three fifty, the next day. I can feel all my muscles finally relaxing. That’s about when I see it. I wasn’t looking for a letter, so I didn’t notice it at first. But there it is. A plain white envelope with my name printed in the middle and an unrecognizable name scribbled in the top. Something about the name and writing keeps me in the same position on the bed.
Pick it up already! The voice in the back of my head is shouting at me to read the letter instead of just staring at it. So, that’s just what I do. My hands are shacking. I can’t swallow, let alone breathe.
Trembling, now, I grab the letter and tear it open. Inside is a folded piece of lined notebook paper and five little cards. I pull out the first card and turn it over in my hands. It’s my face on the front and my name, birthday, and static. What a weird feeling it is to hold a fan made card of yourself.
The card is really good. I’ve never seen someone draw like this before. That’s probably what I like most about them. I dump the others out and flip throw them. It’s the rest of my band; Jeordio, Geff, Chris, and Ax. This is insanely cool. Once I’ve given them all a good look-see, I turn all my attention on the letter. Carefully, I unfold it and begin to read:
Dear Mr. Dimond Death,
Please let me start by saying just how much I lov big a fan I am of all your work. Your music inspires many of my own songs. They have also inspired many of my own paintings.
I’m writing to you because I would like to ask you to come to my art school and talk to my classmates and I about your music and art and how you feel it affects others. I also think that you would like this school. It’s a program for high school students in L*****n. I hope that you can and will come. Please write back soon.
Sincerely,
Belladonna Thorn
I held the letter in my hands for a few more minutes. Then I looked back at the cards. This kid really wanted me to come. Wow. This is pretty cool. Didn’t know I still had any fans like this. I’d figured that most of them had grown up by now and stopped listening to my music. I survived the room and spotted my phone laying on the TV across the room from me.
I slowly pulled myself off the bed and over to the phone to call Jeordio to get his opinion on this matter. After all, he is still my closest friend.
As I reached for the phone, I slipped my foot under a cord in front of me. Trying to move over to the TV again, only made me fall. I landed on the remote and the TV clicked on.
“In today’s news, we have with us a young girl who just topped the charts in both goth music, pop, and metal alike. So, please give a warm welcome to miss Belladonna Thorn!”
I sat blot up right. Belladonna Thorn. Just like on the letter. It had to be the same girl. Or maybe I just didn’t hear that name right.
“Hello?” I ask rubbing my eye.
“Hey! Were the hell are you?!” Jeordio, with a crazy loud song playing in the background.
“What do you mean? I’m at home, asleep. Or at least I was till you…”
“We have a show to do RIGHT NOW, you know!! Get your skinny ass down here!!... Hey!.. Put that back! Get him out of here!!!!... Just hurry up!!”
Looking around, I find a suitable pair of pants and a shirt with no stains on the front of it. After a quick look in the mirror to see how bad I look, I freeze. The face in the mirror isn’t the one I had when I went to bed last night. It’s still my face; in fact, it’s how I looked when I was about seventeen or so. I stare long and hard into the mirror wondering if I’m just more drunk than I thought I was. Man, that’s really drunk. I step back from the mirror and look at the clothes I’m wearing a little more closely, too. I have on a pare of dark blue, almost black jeans and a tee with a band name on it that I haven’t listened to in years. I also don’t remember the carpet being wine red colored.
I spin around the room taking it all in at once. Then it hits me. I really am too drunk for my own good. Because this room looks like the one I use to have like ten years ago. It was just a cheap little apartment to call home. I lived in it when we were just starting to make it big. God, that’s a little sad that this is what I make my house be when I’m extremely drunk. Trying to relive the glory days? Or some shit like that.
I stumble out on to the sidewalk and into my car. Well, it looks like the car I used to have anyway. As it careens into the traffic, I wonder what show Jeordio could possibly be bitchin’ about. I don’t have even the foggiest idea of were I’m going but the car seems to know the way by heart. Almost like it’s driving me, not me driving the car.
This goes on for about a few miles. I finally come to a halt in front of a giant concert hall. There are teens honking horns and smoking and making out and drinking. The teens must be here to see Dimond Death, my alter ego. Most of their tees have my face splashed across the chest. A couple of them are dressed like me and Jeordio. Some like they just crawled out of their coffins. I think I’ll stay away from those kids. Who knows if they really do bite and if they have all their shots.
I slip very, very carefully on to the pavement. It’s mostly black out here so even if I walk near them they most likely won’t see me at all. I’ll just become a faceless shadow passing by them on my way into the building.
The minute I get inside it becomes very obvious just were I am now. I’m standing in the same exact concert hall that I performed at when I saw her! This is weird. This is really freakin weird! And I’m about to piss myself because this can’t be right at all! No way in hell!
Backstage, I’m still freaking out about this whole thing. It’s like I got a second chance! Wait! I’m not dead?! Am I?!!
Everyone around me seems to be in some kind of daze. Not a one sees me having this little episode. And I have to say that this scares me quit a bit. Do they really not care about me? Gwad!
Once we’ve all dressed and done our make-up, we stand behind the curtain. Nerves getting to me and I think the rest of them to. Cheers and praise came from the other side. Slowly, the curtain rose up into the black, night sky. I swallowed the lump that had stopped me from telling the others that I think I might be to drunk or whatever I am right now to go on stag and do anything but stand there like an idiot. That might not be a bad idea. And that’s when I realize I’m face to face with these insanely huge flood lights. No. Those aren’t flood lights or strange lights. What I’m staring into is just normal, old neo stage lights. You know, almost like the ones you find in the public bathrooms. With that though, I start to hope and pray that I’m not passed out on some random bathroom floor.
I blink like forty million times. Now I can see where I really am. I passed out in bed with the lights on. Sighing, I turn in bed to check the time and date. Three fifty, the next day. I can feel all my muscles finally relaxing. That’s about when I see it. I wasn’t looking for a letter, so I didn’t notice it at first. But there it is. A plain white envelope with my name printed in the middle and an unrecognizable name scribbled in the top. Something about the name and writing keeps me in the same position on the bed.
Pick it up already! The voice in the back of my head is shouting at me to read the letter instead of just staring at it. So, that’s just what I do. My hands are shacking. I can’t swallow, let alone breathe.
Trembling, now, I grab the letter and tear it open. Inside is a folded piece of lined notebook paper and five little cards. I pull out the first card and turn it over in my hands. It’s my face on the front and my name, birthday, and static. What a weird feeling it is to hold a fan made card of yourself.
The card is really good. I’ve never seen someone draw like this before. That’s probably what I like most about them. I dump the others out and flip throw them. It’s the rest of my band; Jeordio, Geff, Chris, and Ax. This is insanely cool. Once I’ve given them all a good look-see, I turn all my attention on the letter. Carefully, I unfold it and begin to read:
Dear Mr. Dimond Death,
Please let me start by saying just how much I lov big a fan I am of all your work. Your music inspires many of my own songs. They have also inspired many of my own paintings.
I’m writing to you because I would like to ask you to come to my art school and talk to my classmates and I about your music and art and how you feel it affects others. I also think that you would like this school. It’s a program for high school students in L*****n. I hope that you can and will come. Please write back soon.
Sincerely,
Belladonna Thorn
I held the letter in my hands for a few more minutes. Then I looked back at the cards. This kid really wanted me to come. Wow. This is pretty cool. Didn’t know I still had any fans like this. I’d figured that most of them had grown up by now and stopped listening to my music. I survived the room and spotted my phone laying on the TV across the room from me.
I slowly pulled myself off the bed and over to the phone to call Jeordio to get his opinion on this matter. After all, he is still my closest friend.
As I reached for the phone, I slipped my foot under a cord in front of me. Trying to move over to the TV again, only made me fall. I landed on the remote and the TV clicked on.
“In today’s news, we have with us a young girl who just topped the charts in both goth music, pop, and metal alike. So, please give a warm welcome to miss Belladonna Thorn!”
I sat blot up right. Belladonna Thorn. Just like on the letter. It had to be the same girl. Or maybe I just didn’t hear that name right.
chapter three
Lunch. We all pile back into our five person black car. Everyone is arguing about were to go to eat. All I want is Sky. But there is no fast food place that’ll magically have her in stock.
The sky has become a brilliant shade of deep blue.
After what seems like hours of none-stop bickering, we (or more like they) choose the closest Taco Bell. All I get is a soda. It’s all I really want right now. As we cruse the streets, eating our tacos, I notice something. I notice that this is almost the same routine we have most every Saturday. This discovery pisses me off. I mean, who wants to wake up and do the same freakin thing every damn Saturday?! Fuck. Me.
It seems that I happen to be the only one who’s figured all this out. Not that it truly matters anyway.
So, here I am, trapped in a car with my band mates, who are all eating Mexican food and laughing and belching. I could so walk out if I truly wanted to, but I don’t. I sit here and keep my eyes on the sky out behind the huge blocky buildings that have become the only world I know now.
If you want my opinion, I think that the more you live somewhere the more it becomes your whole world. That’s sad, huh? Because that would mean that we’d have to move at lest every year or two so as to remember that there is a world outside our tiny towns and cities. And when you think about it, and it seems that maybe in a way we do that because it creates a kind of security blanket. The kind of thing most humans cling to.
What’s a crappy Saturday without a mind and soul numbing trip to the bar to pick up my next untraceable memory. That’s just what I do. What else is there to do in this place? Besides, it doesn’t matter whether I can recall all the faceless girls I’ve slept with when all I want is Sky. Sorry. I’m becoming a one trick pony with this whole Sky business.
Tonight’s different for some reason. I look around the bar, but no one looks any better the more I drink. I wonder if I’ve finally built up immunity to alcohol. Shit. That was my only way out.
I sit at the bar and watch all these people I don’t know or even give a shit about, dance to this crappy techno rap song. I feel the beat stir my soul and bring me back to that night and the stage and Sky and the passion we had in that dream world. I close my eyes and try to find where I last was before Chris interrupted me.
She’s singing with me and I feel like all the people that were once a vast and endless sea of faces has just vanished into the solar system. Even Jeordio, Chris, Geff, and Ax have been sucked up by a dark hole. Right then, that’s just what I want to happen. I want to have her all to myself. I don’t want anyone to get even a tiny glimpse of her beauty. I want to be a selfish child for just this instance.
I can feel this kind of gravity that we have. It pulls us together as we belt out the last few words of our song. “Forever; Only With You.” It seems to fit our “relationship”. It’s the song I always dream us singing together.
I blink. And I’m back in that bar and another stupid techno rap song is blasting out the speakers on either side of the Dj, who looks to be in a world all of his own. Which is cool with me. It means he’s not taking to heart the choices in music he makes. That makes one person here I like. A real record.
I forge out on to the dark streets. I pat my pockets. Good, I have all my things.
I turn my head to the sky and watch as the rain begins to drop slowly and steadily. I closed my eyes and let the rain hit them. It somehow feels claming, standing in the down pore like this. I do this sometimes when I feel stressed or after a major hangover. This isn’t one of those times, though. I’m standing in the rain because I don’t really want to go back to my empty house. I should have just taken the first girl that talked to me, even if she wasn’t a real girl. Better than being alone again.
But I’m not going back into that place. Not tonight anyway. Or at least I don’t want to. I pull out my phone and peek at the time. Two minutes to midnight. Wow. That’s early for me.
Slipping my phone back into my pants pocket, I start to head home. Why not? Better than standing here like an idiot.
The sky has become a brilliant shade of deep blue.
After what seems like hours of none-stop bickering, we (or more like they) choose the closest Taco Bell. All I get is a soda. It’s all I really want right now. As we cruse the streets, eating our tacos, I notice something. I notice that this is almost the same routine we have most every Saturday. This discovery pisses me off. I mean, who wants to wake up and do the same freakin thing every damn Saturday?! Fuck. Me.
It seems that I happen to be the only one who’s figured all this out. Not that it truly matters anyway.
So, here I am, trapped in a car with my band mates, who are all eating Mexican food and laughing and belching. I could so walk out if I truly wanted to, but I don’t. I sit here and keep my eyes on the sky out behind the huge blocky buildings that have become the only world I know now.
If you want my opinion, I think that the more you live somewhere the more it becomes your whole world. That’s sad, huh? Because that would mean that we’d have to move at lest every year or two so as to remember that there is a world outside our tiny towns and cities. And when you think about it, and it seems that maybe in a way we do that because it creates a kind of security blanket. The kind of thing most humans cling to.
What’s a crappy Saturday without a mind and soul numbing trip to the bar to pick up my next untraceable memory. That’s just what I do. What else is there to do in this place? Besides, it doesn’t matter whether I can recall all the faceless girls I’ve slept with when all I want is Sky. Sorry. I’m becoming a one trick pony with this whole Sky business.
Tonight’s different for some reason. I look around the bar, but no one looks any better the more I drink. I wonder if I’ve finally built up immunity to alcohol. Shit. That was my only way out.
I sit at the bar and watch all these people I don’t know or even give a shit about, dance to this crappy techno rap song. I feel the beat stir my soul and bring me back to that night and the stage and Sky and the passion we had in that dream world. I close my eyes and try to find where I last was before Chris interrupted me.
She’s singing with me and I feel like all the people that were once a vast and endless sea of faces has just vanished into the solar system. Even Jeordio, Chris, Geff, and Ax have been sucked up by a dark hole. Right then, that’s just what I want to happen. I want to have her all to myself. I don’t want anyone to get even a tiny glimpse of her beauty. I want to be a selfish child for just this instance.
I can feel this kind of gravity that we have. It pulls us together as we belt out the last few words of our song. “Forever; Only With You.” It seems to fit our “relationship”. It’s the song I always dream us singing together.
I blink. And I’m back in that bar and another stupid techno rap song is blasting out the speakers on either side of the Dj, who looks to be in a world all of his own. Which is cool with me. It means he’s not taking to heart the choices in music he makes. That makes one person here I like. A real record.
I forge out on to the dark streets. I pat my pockets. Good, I have all my things.
I turn my head to the sky and watch as the rain begins to drop slowly and steadily. I closed my eyes and let the rain hit them. It somehow feels claming, standing in the down pore like this. I do this sometimes when I feel stressed or after a major hangover. This isn’t one of those times, though. I’m standing in the rain because I don’t really want to go back to my empty house. I should have just taken the first girl that talked to me, even if she wasn’t a real girl. Better than being alone again.
But I’m not going back into that place. Not tonight anyway. Or at least I don’t want to. I pull out my phone and peek at the time. Two minutes to midnight. Wow. That’s early for me.
Slipping my phone back into my pants pocket, I start to head home. Why not? Better than standing here like an idiot.
chapter two
Did I tell you already that I don’t really like waking up at nine on a Saturday to sit for about three or more hours and hear about how the label thinks my new lyrics are too racy or they think it won’t be a hit with the fans. They talk to me like I have no idea what it was like to be a teenager or whatever. I’m not stupid.
“So, what do you guys think?” a slalom faced V.P. mumbles across the table at us. I place the heals of my shoes on the edge of the table and rock back and forth. Completely in my own world. Why tell them that I hate all of this shit when they’ll just change it any way. Jeordio and the others nod like little robots, then turn their glances on me. I tip my head back lazily and sigh deeply. I really want to voice my true thoughts, but I chose the smarter thing to say; “Oh. Yeah. It works.” What more can I say? They own me till the day I die.
I swear inside myself. I watch the ceiling and image my favorite dream, the one where I see her for the first and only time. This time though, I met her. I decided on a name for her a little while after I started having dreams about her. I named her Sky. I don’t know why, it some how just fit her whole everything.
So, as my show comes to an end I say into the mic that I want a fan to come on stag to sing the final song with me. People scream and fight and shove and punch each other to get on stage with me. Fans are crazy. A broad smile crosses my face and my band all give me strange looks probably asking themselves “what the hell is he thinking?!” but I don’t care about this right now because I point at Sky. She stands there, staring in awe. The others around her begin to cheer her on and force her at the stage. Slowly, she walks up to the edge and they lift Sky up.
She stays at the end. I reach out to her and she takes my hand. I don’t know what her voice really sounds like, so I make it sound like this chick off of this show I saw once. Maybe American Idol, you know? But anyway, it’s the most beautiful voice ever. And we sing together. Our voices become one and the same and then suddenly I’m pulled back to reality. To the meeting I was dragged kicking and screaming to. To a world with out her and with out the imaginary passion we shared on that stage. Even if it’s only in my head, it doesn’t make it any easier to return to everything I left when I went into dream mode.
“Yo! Brian, you awake? It’s time for lunch.” This time it’s Chris snapping at me. I realize that he’s hunched over me because I’m still looking up at the ceiling. “Where we goin’ for lunch?” I mange to spit out, sounding drunk. Not right now though.
“So, what do you guys think?” a slalom faced V.P. mumbles across the table at us. I place the heals of my shoes on the edge of the table and rock back and forth. Completely in my own world. Why tell them that I hate all of this shit when they’ll just change it any way. Jeordio and the others nod like little robots, then turn their glances on me. I tip my head back lazily and sigh deeply. I really want to voice my true thoughts, but I chose the smarter thing to say; “Oh. Yeah. It works.” What more can I say? They own me till the day I die.
I swear inside myself. I watch the ceiling and image my favorite dream, the one where I see her for the first and only time. This time though, I met her. I decided on a name for her a little while after I started having dreams about her. I named her Sky. I don’t know why, it some how just fit her whole everything.
So, as my show comes to an end I say into the mic that I want a fan to come on stag to sing the final song with me. People scream and fight and shove and punch each other to get on stage with me. Fans are crazy. A broad smile crosses my face and my band all give me strange looks probably asking themselves “what the hell is he thinking?!” but I don’t care about this right now because I point at Sky. She stands there, staring in awe. The others around her begin to cheer her on and force her at the stage. Slowly, she walks up to the edge and they lift Sky up.
She stays at the end. I reach out to her and she takes my hand. I don’t know what her voice really sounds like, so I make it sound like this chick off of this show I saw once. Maybe American Idol, you know? But anyway, it’s the most beautiful voice ever. And we sing together. Our voices become one and the same and then suddenly I’m pulled back to reality. To the meeting I was dragged kicking and screaming to. To a world with out her and with out the imaginary passion we shared on that stage. Even if it’s only in my head, it doesn’t make it any easier to return to everything I left when I went into dream mode.
“Yo! Brian, you awake? It’s time for lunch.” This time it’s Chris snapping at me. I realize that he’s hunched over me because I’m still looking up at the ceiling. “Where we goin’ for lunch?” I mange to spit out, sounding drunk. Not right now though.
chapter one
When I first spotted her, she was just a face in the massive crowd of people. But there was something special about her. She wasn’t moshing like the others or pumping her fists either. She was standing in the middle of all the chaos, just standing there singing along to every word I said. Her soft, pale hands lay together over her heart. I think that’s what really caught my eye that night and has kept her in the back of my mind for so long.
“Hdj…! Mtheo!!!.......Brian!!!”
Voices echo in my dank bedroom from somewhere outside of it. I rub the back of my head. It hurts badly. I think I must have hit it last night. No surprise. That’s just how I live. Waking up to a strange voice yelling for me to get up or to see a new girl lying next to me, passed out and half-naked. None of this is new at all to me in the least bit. It’s what happens when you’re living a life like mine.
Bam! The door flies open as if someone had set a timer on it and this was just the time it was to bust on me. Jeez, no privacy. I set myself up far enough to see who the perpetrator is in my doorway. Jeordio. While my best friend and long time member of our band, it was still super annoying to find him in my house this early in the morning.
I stare at him, pure evil in my eyes. “Get up and get dressed already, man. It’s like almost nine. We gotta go.” He jabs a thumb in the direction of the front door. I shack my head in protest. I can’t remember what the hell he could possible be talking about. He looks at me as though he’s really disappointed in me. What can I say; this is how I live and I don’t really want to do anything about it.
At about a quarter to ten, we finally make it out of the house. Once we get in the car Jeordio starts to tell me what we’re about to set out to do. Apparently, we have some kind of big meeting or other. I’ve never been one to care about things like this.
The car speeds down the road, managing to make every green light possible. That means we’ll get there sooner than hoped. Just my luck.
Jeordio seems to be in high spirits as he chats up a storm of stories I barely hear as I stare out at the mourning sky. The palest blue I’ve seen in a while with a little pink and purple. I can still see the full moon passing by out the window.
“Hdj…! Mtheo!!!.......Brian!!!”
Voices echo in my dank bedroom from somewhere outside of it. I rub the back of my head. It hurts badly. I think I must have hit it last night. No surprise. That’s just how I live. Waking up to a strange voice yelling for me to get up or to see a new girl lying next to me, passed out and half-naked. None of this is new at all to me in the least bit. It’s what happens when you’re living a life like mine.
Bam! The door flies open as if someone had set a timer on it and this was just the time it was to bust on me. Jeez, no privacy. I set myself up far enough to see who the perpetrator is in my doorway. Jeordio. While my best friend and long time member of our band, it was still super annoying to find him in my house this early in the morning.
I stare at him, pure evil in my eyes. “Get up and get dressed already, man. It’s like almost nine. We gotta go.” He jabs a thumb in the direction of the front door. I shack my head in protest. I can’t remember what the hell he could possible be talking about. He looks at me as though he’s really disappointed in me. What can I say; this is how I live and I don’t really want to do anything about it.
At about a quarter to ten, we finally make it out of the house. Once we get in the car Jeordio starts to tell me what we’re about to set out to do. Apparently, we have some kind of big meeting or other. I’ve never been one to care about things like this.
The car speeds down the road, managing to make every green light possible. That means we’ll get there sooner than hoped. Just my luck.
Jeordio seems to be in high spirits as he chats up a storm of stories I barely hear as I stare out at the mourning sky. The palest blue I’ve seen in a while with a little pink and purple. I can still see the full moon passing by out the window.
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