chapter three

Lunch. We all pile back into our five person black car. Everyone is arguing about were to go to eat. All I want is Sky. But there is no fast food place that’ll magically have her in stock.
The sky has become a brilliant shade of deep blue.
After what seems like hours of none-stop bickering, we (or more like they) choose the closest Taco Bell. All I get is a soda. It’s all I really want right now. As we cruse the streets, eating our tacos, I notice something. I notice that this is almost the same routine we have most every Saturday. This discovery pisses me off. I mean, who wants to wake up and do the same freakin thing every damn Saturday?! Fuck. Me.
It seems that I happen to be the only one who’s figured all this out. Not that it truly matters anyway.
So, here I am, trapped in a car with my band mates, who are all eating Mexican food and laughing and belching. I could so walk out if I truly wanted to, but I don’t. I sit here and keep my eyes on the sky out behind the huge blocky buildings that have become the only world I know now.
If you want my opinion, I think that the more you live somewhere the more it becomes your whole world. That’s sad, huh? Because that would mean that we’d have to move at lest every year or two so as to remember that there is a world outside our tiny towns and cities. And when you think about it, and it seems that maybe in a way we do that because it creates a kind of security blanket. The kind of thing most humans cling to.


What’s a crappy Saturday without a mind and soul numbing trip to the bar to pick up my next untraceable memory. That’s just what I do. What else is there to do in this place? Besides, it doesn’t matter whether I can recall all the faceless girls I’ve slept with when all I want is Sky. Sorry. I’m becoming a one trick pony with this whole Sky business.
Tonight’s different for some reason. I look around the bar, but no one looks any better the more I drink. I wonder if I’ve finally built up immunity to alcohol. Shit. That was my only way out.
I sit at the bar and watch all these people I don’t know or even give a shit about, dance to this crappy techno rap song. I feel the beat stir my soul and bring me back to that night and the stage and Sky and the passion we had in that dream world. I close my eyes and try to find where I last was before Chris interrupted me.

She’s singing with me and I feel like all the people that were once a vast and endless sea of faces has just vanished into the solar system. Even Jeordio, Chris, Geff, and Ax have been sucked up by a dark hole. Right then, that’s just what I want to happen. I want to have her all to myself. I don’t want anyone to get even a tiny glimpse of her beauty. I want to be a selfish child for just this instance.
I can feel this kind of gravity that we have. It pulls us together as we belt out the last few words of our song. “Forever; Only With You.” It seems to fit our “relationship”. It’s the song I always dream us singing together.
I blink. And I’m back in that bar and another stupid techno rap song is blasting out the speakers on either side of the Dj, who looks to be in a world all of his own. Which is cool with me. It means he’s not taking to heart the choices in music he makes. That makes one person here I like. A real record.

I forge out on to the dark streets. I pat my pockets. Good, I have all my things.
I turn my head to the sky and watch as the rain begins to drop slowly and steadily. I closed my eyes and let the rain hit them. It somehow feels claming, standing in the down pore like this. I do this sometimes when I feel stressed or after a major hangover. This isn’t one of those times, though. I’m standing in the rain because I don’t really want to go back to my empty house. I should have just taken the first girl that talked to me, even if she wasn’t a real girl. Better than being alone again.
But I’m not going back into that place. Not tonight anyway. Or at least I don’t want to. I pull out my phone and peek at the time. Two minutes to midnight. Wow. That’s early for me.
Slipping my phone back into my pants pocket, I start to head home. Why not? Better than standing here like an idiot.